More sketchbook photos for “inktober.”
I think I may stop making face sketches for a while. I have an abstract drawing coming up soon. It is fun to try different styles, but my brain gets a bit confused by it. Going from one to the other and then a complete other gets a bit confusing.
Having an open schedule sounds like a great thing, but if it’s too open, it’s hard to tell what to do next. I should try to get some more structure in my day.
I have been working, or hardly working, on my comic book, “Angel Messages of Light.” It is a great thing to work on, but unfortunately it makes me extremely nervous to think about releasing something to the greater world out there. It stops me. As if putting my ideas and work on the chopping block means I am a “strange person.” Whatever that means.
I don’t know why, but thinking I am a “new age author”, even if “only” for comic books makes me think I will be rejected, or like I am not good enough for something like that. For so long, thinking and trying to be different and weird was the norm for me.
When I put pen to paper and try to make something loving, it sounds the alarm bells: “This is not supposed to be good!” “This is not who I am!” These Are things I tell myself.
Who am I to make something that is not surreal, or not abstract, or not something no one understands truly? It is strange for me to be normal. It is strange for me to change into “traditional storyteller man.” Even if that is something people will like, it doesn’t seem like my “normal” (strange) self knows how to do.
I guess it is healing though. It is something I asked for. I wanted to “get better” from my illness and spread some of the knowledge I was learning, am learning, and want to learn.
Angels changed my life and made me want to get better. Made me want to heal. The presence of higher beings and figuring out they really exist blew my mind and made me want to react to it and respect my life and this world. It made me want to help people and share what I have learned. It made me want to connect to something higher and become a better person. I think I have made progress and healed a lot and I hope to heal more.
Thanks for reading. I love the fact that there is someone on the other end of this. I love the fact that people read and view my work. I love the fact that I can do this every day. I’m sorry if I haven’t posted as often as I would have liked, but putting myself out there scares me at times.
Thanks for following,
Tim Edwin B.