I have decided to make timebush.com my one and only website to blog to. I know I have tried a bunch of other sites and ideas for blogs, but as it is, this is the only site I seem to keep going back to and that I am able to have enough time to post to. I have figured out that I only have a certain amount of time in my life to get this internet stuff done. I am losing interest quickly with the internet most of the time because I am not getting out what I put in. I am not making ANY money from any of this work and it is slim pickings when I do. ($1-5) I am losing interest in posting every day and consistently and have not posted to any other blog or website of mine other than this one and my personal facebook page.
I have a lot of projects to do and no one to help me and I just cannot keep up with anything other than this one blog and the occasional youtube video or things like that. I have tried kickstarter and I have flirted with other sites and I am finding more and more that I am just not cut out for marketing and I am rethinking just about every possible internet minute I spend. I seem to waste a lot of time trying to socialize or post and I am not able to get all the work done I want to or I am not able to have a few minutes just to rest. I am just about spent on all of the projects I am doing and with the slow process of trying to get one sale after another. I am quickly realizing that I am just not cut out for this whole internet “success” that I crave.
It seems almost pointless to keep going the way I have with the internet and I am contemplating disappearing from existence. I am frustrated with the idea of trying to build and build an audience and not really knowing what I am doing. I feel like running away and hiding with my tail between my knees because I am an abject failure. I want to just get things done and move on to something else. I question my motives for trying to be an artist and I am mad at myself because I am pretty much stuck in this position where I have to make art to survive or die.
I love my work and I love my projects, but trying to build an audience is heart breaking when you are anti social and don’t know what to do in the most basic of social situations. I am just about done with anything internet. I am so fed up with more and more news about NSA, or loss in some sort of security on the internet. I don’t want everything I do to be scrutinized and put in a file somewhere that says- “this person is this way and wants this and deals with this and we know exactly how to get him to be and do what we want”
So, I may take a break from the internet for a while just because I need to rest.