I was hoping to do readings here on the blog, but I always seem to get stopped. Either it’s not the right time, or I’m too stressed.
I want to make custom drawings for each reading and put the cards from the reading on the drawing. I want to show a sort of visual reading to go along with the type on the post. It seems like a fun idea and one that I’d enjoy. I think it would give me great practice for eventually giving readings professionally. I’m not sure that you fine folks out there would enjoy it or would have an interest.
Looking purely at the amount of “likes” on any one of my posts, most people seem to prefer my poetry and abstracts. My angel comic is done and I am sure a lot of you may like that type of work but perhaps may not be vocal about it.
Anyhow, my work is turning more towards traditional art materials which are abstract paintings and drawings. It seems like what I’m being led to for myself now. I need it and it is what truly gets me motivated the most, even though it is a bit strange. It seems more “who I am” than the other work, and people seem to like that.
I’m sort of torn between two worlds now and that is a bit uncomfortable. It is tough for me to judge what anyone who reads this blog thinks or wants and I get very little feedback from anyone I know. I guess I am mostly entertaining myself with this thing and that is good enough to keep me going, but if I am truly to “be of service” to the world with this blog, I need to know at least a general direction to go in for a while.
I love my most recent work because it is fun and what I truly love to do, but I was hoping to get some other “features” on the blog so it is not always the same thing. And I know I will not be content with just abstract art or just illustration work.. I also want to try to stick to some sort of a schedule and to be consistent with it. This is a tough spot for me as I always want to be intuitive about my time and just go with the flow. This, however is a bit difficult to follow for you folks out there in cyber land IMHO.
I feel like I need some sort of person to keep me accountable to this stuff, and for now, it is just me and I get super stressed about that. I need to move sometime and I know I have been saying this a lot over the years. It bothers me to no end that this house is a mess and needs more care than I truly care to give it. I have put in my effort here and it was just never ending and I felt begrudgingly that it was something that I needed to do to make myself feel better about life. It did help tremendously and it has improved my mood considerably, but there is just so much more that has to be done here that I am not able to do with my skill-set.
So I am turning to Ebay soon to sell some of these abstracts and some junk that is still good, but no longer wanted by me or my Uncle. That will take some time to do, but it seems like it will pay off at least for a while. I hope to be able to turn my work into a business of sorts at some point. And if I am not too stressed about all of this and if I have the right help, I think it will be a success and hopefully be enough to get me off of food stamps and disability. I have been working at healing my life for the better and all of this that is on this blog is my hard work at becoming a better, healthy person for myself and the world.
I long to be over this illness that I have, and I long to be healthy and back to my “old” “better” self. I guess I have evolved well beyond who I was in younger years, but there is still so much I have to get over in order to be healthy.
If you have any comments, or suggestions, I would be happy to hear them. Is there some sort of feature or part to this blog that you’d like to see? I don’t know how interested any of you are in this blog. In my imagination, the blog posts go right to your email and you don’t even bother to read them, but I have no idea if that is correct or not.
I look at my counter on the side that tells me how many people follow my blog and I am overwhelmed that that many people want to read my little old blog. It is healing to my heart to see that that many people care about me and what I do. The fact that it keeps growing impresses me and humbles me too. So what do you folks think? Do you like my progress? Do you like what you see? Do you like my ideas about where to go with this blog?
Tim Edwin B.