Odd and Evil in A Blessed and Loving Light

I’ve been thinking lately about the difference between light and dark, in terms of good and evil and the like. When it comes down to it, they both come from the same source, right? Most darkness is light that is corrupted in some way.

Fear and anger and hostility and corruption all come from the same place as has created love and joy when you speak of it in human terms. One person experiences something differently than another. One person’s life is full of beatings and torture, another’s is full of love and peace.

What is the difference? What causes a person’s heart to fall into evil? Why would a person choose this for their life mission? It does make the world a little more interesting, but why bother with it? Why go down the path of evil if not just to get back to the good later. Like a vacation of sorts before you realize- “Hey, I didn’t have to be evil”.

Just a thought, but maybe good in this world is just heavenly experiences. But why, then are good people treated poorly? Maybe they had to learn how to be good in a more powerful way. Maybe a person goes through chaos to enjoy peace later on. A hard earned peace sometimes has more meaning. More depth.

When I go from one style of art to the next, I wonder- “why am I making this weird art that is so strange and bizarre and has no real value in terms of the standards of normalcy.” Why am I so weird? Why did I go down this route to get back to good ?

I guess it takes a village of weird people to make sanity seem better once we get back around to that. What is sanity anyhow? Who is to say when there is evidence that reality may not even be real? According to some of the things I hear about quantum physics, it seems all the world is just an illusion anyhow.

How do you get back to sane and normal if you have been strange for so long? What does that even mean?

I guess I am just pondering myself and my place in the world. I am wondering who I am now, where did I go wrong, and where will I go from here. To find my way back to health, I seem to have had to go down the weird road of life just to figure out all the oddities of abuse and mayhem that have been in my life.

I figure new things out every day and new ways to be healthy. I question my motives for creating extremely surreal and abstract strangeness. Why would I, of all people, be drawn to drawing angels? The celestial team must be picking the wrong person. The higher powers must be laughing at my lunacy and my desires to paint angels or to create comics of a “higher” nature, whatever that is.

If odd and normal are born from the same being, maybe God does love “evil”. Maybe god does think the odd is good. Maybe God does love all the misfits and weirdos out there. Maybe I am playing my part for a reason.

For one person to be torn between sweet and innocent and grotesque and gross, must mean that God cares for the meek and the saucy. Maybe I am not so bad a person after all. Maybe the bad parts of my life were for a reason. I don’t think I would have gone this far into the light had I not been so desperate for repair. Maybe that is the ploy of the evil.

Does one experience evil just to push closer to heaven later?

You see it all the time- a person becomes so succumbed to pain and horror that their only release is to pray and cry to God, to heaven for release from their torture. Maybe that is the reason the world goes to wars. Maybe a person gets so overcome with pain that they fight for release.

Maybe the prison we are all in has to be dismantled one horrible experience at a time? Maybe we can change this.. Maybe if enough people seek light, the whole world will be a better place. The world is more and more connected every day. More people can experience the same thing at the same time and enjoy the joy of shared abuse to overcome it more fully. We are all able to see the same thing on television and the same things on the internet. Maybe we are all meant to experience the trials of this world for communal evolution.

Is there a way to make it so that we don’t have to grow this way anymore? Is there a way to make it so that no one has to torture themselves with worry and fear ever again?

Think about it. If you may..

Tim Edwin B.


2 thoughts on “Odd and Evil in A Blessed and Loving Light

  1. Reblogged this on Shamanic Paths and commented:
    Tim’s wonderful expression of the self doubt, the fears (personal and trans-personal), the questions we all face now and again… maybe one day these long sought answer can be revealed. My generation blew their chance – it’ll be a younger generation that births a world without suffering…


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