My comic strips have to be on hold for a bit because I need more art supplies. I only have a few comic strip boards left and I need to make them last for a while. If some people donate to me, I will be able to get them sooner, but it will still take a few days in order to ship them.
I would rather eat and stay alive than make the comic strips every day. I apologize if you were looking forward to more of them today. At some point, I am thinking of going all digital with them, but I would still need a new computer or tablet with the right capabilities.
I have had more fun with the strips than I thought I would and I feel better about them in a lot of ways. I was undergoing a sort of identity crisis with them. I was thinking that I am not the type of person who would ever make something like that and I felt I was making a mockery of myself. I realized that it doesn’t really matter what others think, as long as I stay true to myself and focus on being a positive person. I know they are important to me and hopefully to others and I think there is a future for the strips. However, for now, I will work on other things.
I have started the next two tarot cards in line while following the sequence of cards and I hope to get them done or further along soon. If I keep going at this rate, it will probably take two years to finalize the full deck. I like doing the tarot cards as well as the strips, even if they are more involved and take longer. I am on “The Hanged Man” and “Death”- two of the most feared cards in the deck. There really are no “bad” cards, but these two do often make me think of possible negative events or circumstances- which is a part of life anyhow.
After my uncle passing shortly ago, I have been contemplating the death process and the after effects on family members, especially since it occurred right around the time that I came to the aforementioned tarot cards. Thinking about my sister who passed a long while ago was one of the catalysts that put me on the intuitive path. Mediumship was a tough thing to wrap my head around and I was unable to really take that skill as far as I wanted. I was pushed more towards angel communication and I wish I would have taken an angel intuitive course rather than mediumship when I had the money for that.
Life goes on it seems and that is good enough for me. One project leads to another and one event teaches life lessons which lead to more and more progress. My health has been improving bit by bit, though there are still many moments of doubt and stress and fear and worry and anxiety. The good moments feel better and more stable than they have for a long period of my life. Meditation has been getting more and more vivid and helpful. I feel such a connection to heaven that it almost seems unreal.
It’s been difficult to have enough of the things I need to live and function with my debt that needs to be paid and with my small income, but my mother and I have received some good help from other family members. It has been immensely meaningful to have help.
I would love to be able to market my work better and to have more things and services to offer. I get caught up in the trap I think most artists and creators get caught in; which is only wanting to create and not wanting to get on with the business side of things. It has been good though because now I have enough to keep me busy for a long time and that is something a lot of people probably do not have.
Having a purpose and a destination in mind really makes it worth it and helps to manage things when there is little direction. I am my own boss and that is a bit tricky because I am the only one accountable to me. I like doing my own thing and making my own decisions, but if things go wrong, there is no one else to blame. That can make it tricky when I am prone to depression. I keep pushing through though and I have more skills at dealing with the things that affect me.
I have been trying to get some more things to sell out there, but I do need to work on the projects that are already finished. I need to fine tune bits here and there and get some more literature done. I also need to post more about the projects that I have finished to get people interested and informed about them. It is a big job for anyone and I know I have to be careful, so I am taking the S-L-O-W path and taking time for self care as much as I can. This really is a part of my process now and just about everything I do in some way moves me further towards project completion.
There is a fine line I walk between wanting to be competitive and get as many things done as I can while also being sure to put in the proper loving energy into projects that are for “sensitive” people. Working on my own level of happiness and mental health is a major component to getting the things done that I want to get done.
That is the thing with illnesses- they make you rethink things and make sure that you focus on healing yourself rather than those things that are not as important as one might think. Progress is progress, even if the results are not tangible.
I guess that is about all for this update. Just know that I am working on bringing things further along and closer to something great. I learn as I go and the artmaking process is what I use to learn.
Tim Edwin B.