Here I am, waiting for shipments to come in, waiting for test proofs to be made, waiting for news about a move, and waiting to get anything done.
It feels like limbo. Stuck between what I want and work I’ve already put in, waiting for a positive outcome.
I have put in so much effort and don’t have much to show for it. I worked myself tired and now with the resting period, there is a sense of anticipation and anxiety- unsure of what’s to come. I’m wondering whether what I’ve done is enough and whether things will turn out right- too tired and unsure to make any movements, and worn out from effort.
I want to see the proofs of what I have done. I want to know whether the long process of creation will have its rewards. I am heading towards lots of videos and lots of posts telling about all of my new wares, but it can’t happen until the things I made get made. I have to wait.
There is a lot on my shoulders if I want to have any sort of positive outcome. I have to figure out how to present things, how to talk about them and how to portray all that I’ve done. Years of work and effort still ahead of me and years in the past and nowhere to go right now.
Have you been experiencing anything like this? Are you caught between having the effort pay off and having put out a lot of effort? Maybe this sort of thing is going around.
I want to get more work out there for all of you to see and I know I will soon, but I was not able to get much done this week in terms of art to show or things to post. I felt way too tired to get much of anything done. I managed to take care of most of the household chores and that’s about it. Sometimes that is all a person can do. With a lot of work ahead of me still, it felt wise to wait and rest, but I have this problem of not being able to sit still for long without feeling restless.
Added to a restlessness is the anxiety of not knowing whether what I have done will be enough to have some success or to help others in a positive way. I have been going back and forth between things in my mind, driving myself nuts and I am realizing I don’t always have to hustle and bustle to feel like I am accomplishing something. Sometimes the chicken with its head cut off mentality works, and most times it does not. It is nice to be taught this lesson despite how used to working I am. I have kept myself overly busy at times and now I am realizing the real treasures in life are in no way related to how much work I get done. It’s more about the quality of experience than anything.
How can there be quality with restlessness? There can’t. Not really. I am having to teach myself to relax more and take my time, that the race is best won one step at a time rather than twenty steps at once and burning out. The problem I seem to have is not appreciating all that I have now. Not feeling grateful for all the progress I have made despite my difficulties. When I take the time to reflect, I realize I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. I changed. Again.
It feels good to know that I made progress and to know that I am at the end of a long line of effort and work and production. Soon, I will have things that prove I have something to give to the world. Soon I will move on to a new place, not only in mind, but in location too. I have a move that I hope will come about. A long time waiting on a list and the possibility looms over me like a golden carrot that has my name on it, even though it may mean having to do without for a while and having to adapt and adjust to a new way of life. It is finally time for change! Finally time to have something different than years of effort and frustration. I feel potential and it’s tough to sit still, but that is about all I can do now.
Sometimes fatigue is a good thing, preparing one for the adventure to come. A cooling off period to reflect and get ready for the good times (hopefully) ahead.
Here’s to having dreams come true!
Take time to rest and evaluate where you may be headed, if you have been putting in a lot of effort with little results. See where you want to go and give yourself the encouragement and time to take things in and prepare. That is the best reading I can get done for now. I hope my story helps in some way.
Stay tuned for new divination products and new readings. One order has already shipped. Thank Spirit I don’t have to keep promising you things and telling you about things you haven’t seen yet. They’re coming soon.
I think I may take some time off from painting and drawing for a while and mainly focus on readings and adapting to the new things in my life.
Have fun and take some time off,
Tim E. Bush